3 Ways on How NOT to Arrange a 3-Way

Threesomes are on a lot of people’s bucket lists, but there is a certain way to approach your partner or casual friends with a ménage à trois.  Here’s 3 things you should avoid.


DO NOT beg for a threesome

If your partner is not too sure about having a threesome, constantly nagging them to do it won’t see you with the results you want.  If for some miraculous reason your partner succumbs to this incessant nagging, there is a huge possibility they won’t enjoy the experience. You want your partner to want to engage in a threesome, not force or guilt them into it.

DO NOT leave the choosing of the 3rd to one person

If you are going to seriously consider sharing your sexual experience with another person, letting one person in the relationship dictate who the 3rd will be is bad news.  Two things can result in this.

The first potential downfall is if you only have one person picking they may never find a 3rd that meets their personal standards.  A classic example would be a partner saying, “Sure we can have a threesome, but the 3rd needs to be hotter than me and I’ll pick.”  It is rare that anyone will meet that standard and it puts your partner in an awkward situation.  They really want a threesome, but they also really don’t want to upset you by saying someone else is more attractive.  This creates a stalemate where that glorious ménage á trois won’t happen.

Along the same lines, the second potential downfall is that you are basing your 3rd on one person’s preferences alone. That will only set you up for failure.  Selecting your 3rd needs to be an unanimous decision between you and your partner.  If not, it could leave your partner feeling insignificant or lead them to believe that you don’t find them attractive anymore.

DO NOT assume your 3rd wants the same things as you

Ever do something in the heat of the moment that caught your partner off guard and put a major halt to your sexy time?  That can be awkward enough with two people.  It is infinitely more awkward with three people.  Do something that’s a “no” for someone in a threesome and the fun stops for everyone, which can potentially scar someone from trying a threesome ever again.

 Like with ANY sexual encounter communication and consent is key.  You are three adults about to engage in an adult activity.  There should be no shame in talking things out before you head to the bedroom.  Take some time to know your 3rd and make sure that everyone is comfortable with experience you are about to share.

Also, don’t forget to discuss taking measures to protect you, your partner, and the 3rd.  If anyone in the threesome wants to use condoms or dental dams, then DO IT.  Redhead Bedhead (@BedHeadtweeting) said it best, “ there are no consequences [for the person wanting protection] being ‘wrong’ about needing that condom. But if you don’t use it  and someone has an infection or someone gets pregnant, well there you are.”


Threesome are not for everybody, but if you do want to pursue this daring adventure make sure to keep the above in mind.  Got more tips for successful thressome encounters? Comment and share below!


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