“The G-spot is not a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. It is a place in your body. In my body. It’s a real, tangible thing, like my breasts and your clitoris, and you can even see it. But for some reason, lots of people seem to think the G-spot is a myth.”
This idea of [re]discovering and shining a spotlight on the misconceived place inside a woman’s body, is the inspiration behind Violet Blue’s book, The Smart Girl’s Guide To The G-Spot. It’s a fun, straightforward guide for anyone wanting to learn more, along with a few tips for the more experienced to try (hint: fisting!). And, if you need a little extra stimulation to go with the G-spot theme, there are also three short stories by erotica writer Alison Tyler in the book.
The first chapter dives right in, exploring what the big deal is about the G-spot, what’s real and what’s not, and how the G-spot got its name.
Come to find out, it’s named after the German gynecologist and researcher Dr. Ernest Grafenberg, whose studies on contraceptives and the female urethra led Dr. Beverly Whipple and her colleague, Dr. John D. Perry, to name the area after him.
“It’s not a random letter, nor was it named by some guy who wanted to plant his name in the female body like some astronaut landing on an exotic planet and clamining it for his home country. Nope, the spot was named by a woman for a colleague who risked a lot to develop IUDs and cervical caps at a time when people were being killed for homosexuality in Germany and actually dared to talk about female orgasms when the United States was checking out the Kinsey reports and flailing about madly for smelling salts like an uptight schoolmarm who pretends that no one exists below the waist.”
Knowing something’s background makes the journey to understanding it much easier, which is why the history of the G-spot is an excellent segway into the actual anatomy of a woman, where Violet Blue does an outstanding job of breaking it down. Chapter two, “What’s Inside a Girl,” is probably one of my favorite chapters in the book. Not only because Violet Blue talks so openly about what’s down *there*, but she creates an easy to read road map, accompanied with visual illustrations of our ladybits, to help locate the elusive G-spot.
I learned that the G-spot is not external — It’s located about one to two inches and to the front of your vaginal canal where the urethra is located. It is not some sort of mysterious “insta-orgasm” button. Violet Blue goes into such detail that you can almost picture the G-spot resting nicely between your bladder and the outside world.
What’s more, she’s so supportive of first-timers and even people who may not feel as blissful about G-spot orgasms.“Your attitude and techniques, preferred toys and states of mind when you have G-spot orgasms will be ever-changing,” Blue says, “so don’t think that you need to fit into a particular mindset to check this all out, enjoy it, or even have it be something significant for you.” She goes on to say that G-spot play may not be for everyone, but by trying it out, you’ll just end up more knowledgeable about your body and what turns you on.
Once we “no longer need to use Google Maps to find your G-spot,” the book invites readers to explore the area themselves with instructions for using either fingers or toys; it’s more or less summarized as, “Just see what feels good. Then do that. It might take some firm pressure.”
With choosing the perfect toy for G-spot stimulation (stay away from the imposters!) look for a toy that is firm, slightly curved, and “should look like they can reach up like a finger in a ‘come here’ gesture.” Blue also recommends non-porous materials like glass, silicone, hard plastic or metal, but if one is looking to go the inexpensive jelly route, she recommends using a condom on the toy to keep everything extra clean, especially if you’re sharing toys with partners.
Speaking of partners, other chapters talk about different things couples can do together, once you would like to try G-spot stimulation apart from “me time.” Beyond the physical mechanics, there are tips on how to start the conversation of wanting to do it in the first place, and Blue doesn’t assume that the reader is straight, which is nice.
The back of the book also offers a lot of resources for general sexual information, places to buy toys, and other recommended reading/viewing. Many of these links can also be found on Violet Blue’s site.
Overall, this is a useful book for a range of curiosity levels, and it’s nice to see accurate sexual information that is super pleasure-centered without discriminating on sexual orientation. The fact that Violet Blue goes into a pretty in-depth anatomy lesson without becoming drab, dry and boring is a feat in and of itself. Now, I will admit, because I have very little shame, many of the techniques in the book were welcomed with open arms when I brought them home to my partner, and they most certainly proved super successful. For anyone looking to explore the most precious parts of their ladybits, I would give this book a read. Plus, the stories at the end of each chapter by best-selling erotica writer Alison Tyler are a serious turn on, and that’s the first step toward any G-spot orgasm!