Although I’m not personally known for being overly romantic or for making grand romantic gestures in order to win the affections of another, I definitely recognize that romance plays an essential role in human sexuality and pair bonding. Read on to discover the many reasons why romance is so important for sex.
The Goals of Romance
The main goals of romance are to seduce and to express of a tendency to think about someone even when they are not around. “Out of sight, out of mind,” is perhaps the least romantic philosophy towards love and sex, which is not to say it is wrong- it’s just unromantic.
Romantic displays are a signal to your partner, and the rest of the world, that there is a partnership beginning, growing or evolving into becoming something really special. Romance joins two people together in the eyes of others and can even be an indication of monogamy.
Sometimes, the line between love, romance and sex can be blurred, altered or straight up nonexistent. Depending on who you talk to, love, romance and sex can be mutually exclusive or all inclusive. Open communication with your partner is key if you want to determine where the two of you stand in the face of these blurry lines. In most cases, if romance is nonexistent and the relationship is purely sexual, one or more people in the relationship is incapable of expressing romance.
Burn, Baby, Burn
It is particularly hard for people who have been “burned,” in the past to feel an overwhelming urge to be romantic. Romance denotes caring and caring leads to a deep human connection with another. Romance can create a deep bond between two people, which can therefore lead to unfair expectations and hurt feelings. Actively trying not to be romantic with your sexual partner is a method of self-defense and is a reaction to the fear of becoming emotionally involved in the relationship.
To combat this anti-romance mindset, take small steps, like randomly buying your partner their favorite sandwich, and see how that suits you. Their appreciative reaction may change your mind and inspire you to do other romantic things. However, if they get ridiculously clingy and seriously fall in love with you over a muffaletta purchase, you might not feel super inclined to do anything else romantic for them anytime soon.
Even if your relationship is of a more purely sexual nature, you can still add a little romance into the equation, in a sexual way. Ignite your next night together by surprising them with a vibrating ring, a warming lubricant and/or an exciting textured condom. Sometimes, a post-orgasmic smile is the most romantic thing you can share with someone.
To Plan or Not to Plan
When romance blossoms organically, it is generally thought of as being more sincere than when it is meticulously planned out. Of course, everyone has their own notions and ideas about what constitutes an event being romantic or not. For some couples, a spur of the moment helicopter ride over a volcano would be the ultimate romantic excursion, while for others it could be the most fear-inducing date ever, ending in a panic attack instead of nookie.
When planning a romantic occasion, or coming up with one spontaneously, keep your partner’s interests in mind at all times. Remember that being romantic is all about impressing them and meeting their emotional and physical needs.
Gift giving usually requires more forethought than an adventure and is therefore more traditionally romantic. No matter what you plan giving them or where you’d like to take them, definitely plan on bringing plenty of condoms to use during any type of penetration with your romantic partner. Nothing is less romantic than a screaming child, changing diapers and/or STI symptoms. Read about Condom Depot’s most romantic condoms here and check out some great tips for romantic ways to put on a condom here.
Romance in the Media
The media is quick to define what does and does not constitute as romance. In fact, you would be hard pressed to find a Hollywood movie that does not contain an element of romance. This dates all the way back to the silent film era. Even in the most unexpected places like in slasher flicks, crime dramas, sci-fi films and black comedies, romance is ever present in the visual media. Not to mention romance novels.
TV commercials boast a particularly idealized and flowery version of romance to the viewers and presents romance as an excuse to bestow each other with Hallmark cards, jewelry and resort vacations. Do not permit the media to dictate what is and is not romantic in real life. Am I the only one who thinks partner oriented adult toys are a more romantic gift than a tennis bracelet?
No One is Immune to Romance
Having previously stated my aversion to outwardly exhibiting romance, let me follow that up by saying this: I have most certainly been successfully won over by romance in the past. An instrumental serenade has, so far, been a surefire way to tug on my heart strings and to be a an enormous turn on as well. For me, aural goodness is extremely romantic and can result in an encore of extraordinary sexual pleasure. Since rock stars are notoriously sexual in nature, I’m confident I’m not the only one who feels this way.