We all know condoms are the best way to stay safe with your partner, but have you ever considering using condoms to stay safe during masturbation?
Incorporating condoms into your masturbatory ritual is particularly important if you tend to use any unconventional object(s) in your routine.
After a conversation about interesting check out line purchases at the grocery store with my fellow safer Sexologists last week (think a 6-pack of beer and a cucumber in the Express Lane on a Friday night), I quickly realized how many people use unconventional objects for masturbatory purposes.
I’m not exactly endorsing the choice to insert anything other than an adult toy or to insert yourself into anything other than an adult toy. After all, objects other than the ones specially made for this purpose can be dangerous and cause potential damage to the genital region. But, if you’re going to go ahead with it anyway, we want you to be as safe as possible while you explore your body.
Put that Glassware Where?
We have all heard the horror stories from the Emergency Room. Don’t let the next viral x-ray be of your orifice. First of all, the glass used in the production of adult toys is vastly different than the glass used in bottles, vases, jars, light bulbs, etc. Glass toys are made from annealed Pyrex glass, which is the strongest and least porous glass on Earth. Pyrex is used in a lot of cookware because it can withstand extreme temperature changes and it is also extremely shatter resistant.
If you feel you must play with a glass object that isn’t intended for masturbation, use a hearty and thick extra strength condom and plenty of personal lubrication. Putting the object inside of a condom prior to use will also help keep harmful toxins, like lead, from coming into direct contact with your body. Or, in the event of a glass breakage, it will keep the shards from traveling further into you. Additionally, the ring at the base of the condom could be very helpful for removal of the now slippery glassware when the deed is done.
Fruit of Your Loins
Yes, fruits are natural and healthy- when you eat them. This is because your stomach acids can handle just about anything that comes their way. The same thing does not apply to your sensitive genital region. Fruits are more than likely to be covered in fertilizer, pesticides and they can also carry a high pH balance, which will throw your own pH off kilter. Organic fruit isn’t perfectly safe either, because they’re likely to be covered in manure particulates. For these reasons, fruits certainly aren’t sanitary enough for insertion on their own.
If you are jonesing for a fruit fix, and nothing else will do, be safe about it. Use a particularly stretchy condom like the Crown Skinless Skin so the condom will conform to the fruit’s shape. I also suggest using a healthy wallop of personal lubricant like Pjur Aqua to keep the friction down. You don’t want to end up making a smoothie.
Vegetables and Vaginas
Veggies are a classic choice for unconventional masturbators because of the similarity between the shape of many vegetables and penises. Take the butternut squash for example. It is almost identical to this toy called the Liberte. And zucchini? It’s not a far cry from this waterproof toy called the Wormie.
The same dangers apply to masturbating with veggies as they do with fruits. You should wrap up your phallic vegetable in a condom prior to use, every time. This ensures your personal safety from any chemicals, bugs, fecal matter or other germs on the surface of the vegetable. I suggest trying a snugger fit condom for the smaller veggies and LifeStyles Kyng Large for the girthier and longer produce.