Want a Negative Response? Try Negging.

What drives a normally rational and stable single female person like myself into a foaming-at-the-mouth, furious and crazy eyed wildebeest? Negging. It’s the worst. Seriously guys, just stop.

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Men seem to think that negging is a sort of secret society which no one knows about, or that women are just too caught up in themselves to notice this boring and formulaic behavior, straight out of the disgusting and ridiculous ‘Pick Up Women’ section on Amazon. You want vagina? Then stop taking dating advice from people who wear fluffy hats and just want your money.

What is Negging?

The idea that planned out insults and putdowns will score you big points with the ladies is the adult equivalent to the 6th grade bra snap or 2nd grade gum in the hair. “Hmmm… maybe if use my stealth skills to humiliate her publicly, she’ll end up having such low self-esteem that she’ll give me head.” Impeccable logic, guys.

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I certainly cannot speak for all women, but I know right away whether or not I am physically interested in someone. Without a doubt, insulting me will kill any chance you may have had based on looks alone. If your looks don’t appeal to me and you insult me, or one of my uninterested friends, watch out– because this mild mannered spectacle-wearer will unleash a vocabulary that’s so offensive it will leave you slack-jawed and cause you to scuffle off with your tail tucked. It’s the unnecessarily painful multi-syllabic version of anal with no anal lube.

Negging is an attempt to win affection through emotional manipulation. It’s been a while since the last time I looked at a psychology book, but isn’t that the exact same definition of a sociopath? Don’t we have enough of those in the world, without authors suggesting that we create a whole army of them which will roam the bar and club scene in packs, making defamatory remarks to liquored up women?

Alternatives to Negging

On the flip side, in the pick-up artistry world, one would argue that full fledged compliments are simply ignored or are considered boring. I don’t personally agree with this theory, because I think saying and hearing nice things is one of the joys in life, but I’ll pretend like I do for the sake of this argument. How about instead of commenting on the intelligence or beauty of someone you are interested in, you appeal to their hobbies or sense of humor? Think about it.

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Do you think she’d rather laugh, discuss non-fiction films or meticulously decipher a thinly veiled insult? If you answered decoding an insult, you may be hopeless. For the rest of you, crack a dirty joke or jump into a talk about documentaries. People who are relaxed enough to laugh are always better in bed anyways.

For instance, if your Okamoto 004 randomly catapults off of your penis, would you want a partner who can bust out laughing with you about it, and then grab a replacement LifeStyles THYN UltraGlide out of her purse? Or, would you prefer the only emotionally fragile lady in your county who feel for the ol’ negging routine who will sob hysterically and blame herself for the errant airborne Okamoto while she rolls around on the bathroom floor for an hour begging for forgiveness, while you end up in bed alone, again, with your right hand and your bottle of Swiss Navy Silicone Lubricant?

About Condom Depot

The Condom Depot Learning Center provides free safer sex ed and has recently been resourced by Men's Health, Go Ask Alice, Her Campus, LifeHacker, Scarleteen, Bustle, Madame Noire, Jezebel, Vice, Stallion Style, aPlus, Sex Talk Tuesday and Adult Sex Ed Month.

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