Lube Review: Je T’aime Gel Ecstasy

Depending on your level of sensitivity, Je T’aime Gel Ecstasy will either greatly assist you in achieving la petite mort, or this French-influenced, female-geared arousal gel will overcook your clitoris like a buttered croissant blistering under a broiler.

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transparent reviewBon appetite? Non.

Hours of scorching crotch pain? Oui.

This water-based clitoral arousal gel is so insanely potent, the directions specify to restrict usage to, “a pearl sized bead.” And, they ain’t kidding around. Previously, I’ve used WET WoW Gentle O and Liquid V for Women— both of which aren’t designed for use as a traditional lubricant, but as a circulation and clitoral erection enhancing liquid. This translates to a less-is-more style of direct application, not a haphazard slathering.

Je T'aime Arousal Gel Banner_supplementcentralWhile I used these other products sparingly, I was particularly cautious with this I look so innocent clear gel because it fall into the most extreme class of female arousal products made by this brand. Speaking of which, who makes this robust stuff? Je T’aime brand lubes are made by MD Science Labs, the same makers as Swiss Navy brand lubricants, and their manufacturing facilities are located right here in the United States.

Since this gel is both condom-safe and is compatible with both silicone and water-based lubricants, I gave it a tentative-but-optimistic whirl with a trusty Beyond Seven Sheerlon condom and some Probe Light lube. Within seconds, I was weakly cursing the Intensified Lube Gods. Then came the temporarily-incapacitated-by-pain-and-stuck-in-the-fetal position stage, followed by a more disgruntled griping due to the sustained sensation ingredients which really do last and last. So much for the sexual tour de force I had planned on having.

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The combination of niacin and two kinds of mint gave me a lava-on-my-labia sensation I haven’t experienced since the infamous Trojan Fire & Ice incident. Searingly hot one second and bitterly cold another– this gel is akin getting lost in the Badlands of South Dakota. It felt as though I’d scooted on my vulva across a bed of hot coals and then got a Listerine-spewing firehose turned on me, full blast. A rebranding campaign from Gel Ecstasy to Je T’aime Hell Fire Gel may be in order.

Je_Taime_Logo_LogoIngredients: Propylene Glycol, Water, Cetyl Hydroxyethylcellulose, (Aminocarbonyl)-L-ornithine (L-Citrulline), Niacin, Menthol, Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil, Dehydroacetic Acid (and) Benzyl Alcohol, Tromethamine.

Read more about common lubricant ingredients here.

It’s not all bad though, because like the 5-star rated Je T’aime All Natural, this arousal gel doesn’t contain any parabens, sugars or glycerin. Plus, if you like to be all la-dee-da about the appearance of your clitoral gel, you’ll love the elegant 0.5oz/15ml bottle design. Features include: a patented air-less pump dispenser, a gold-trimmed tightly fitting cap, and an opaque and white lotion-from-Dillard’s package design (as opposed to a garish, obscene and overtly sexual graphics) and a golden and gleaming fleur de lis logo which adds in another touch of class.

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Overall Rating: 1 Star

Final Verdict:

Je T’aime Gel Ecstasy looks like a million bucks, and is inexpensive at $14.99, but if you or your partner has sensitivities or allergies— walk away now (while you still can).

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