Here at the Condom Depot Learning Center, we participate in a whole lot of sex talk. As a lifelong lover of sexual vernacular, I say, “Bring it on!” You, our CDLC readers and Condom Depot customers, have inspired me to create an A-Z of my absolute favorite sex terms, all of which I’ve been lucky enough to use openly while at work.
It’s easier than ever before to enhance your sex positive vocabulary with this funny and informative sexual slang list. Sample sentences and links to relevant articles are included underneath each definition in case you want to learn more about your new favorite dirty word!
the circular, sensitive, pigmented area of skin surrounding the nipple.
When she took her bra off, I couldn’t resist staring at her perfect light brown areolas.
originated as a style of porn from Japan, multiple masturbating men ejaculate on a kneeling receiver.
When my milk frother malfunctioned and shot hot foamy milk all over my face, I felt like I was getting a bukkake.
an above-average sized clitoris which protrudes outwards.
I went down on her and her clitorasaurus rex nearly poked my eye out when she started bucking her hips around.
an insertable sex toy meant for use by two people simultaneously, or can be bent in half for double penetration on one person.
I can’t wait to try out my new double-sided dong with my lesbian lover tonight.
the spongy tissues in the nipples, shaft and clitoris which swell with blood when aroused.
I’m worried that smoking too much is going to start effecting the circulation to my erectile tissues.
a handmade male masturbator typically made from a cardboard tube, a glove, a sponge or some soft cloth.
This one dude in jail made the best fifis I’ve ever seen.
similar to an orgy, except only one person is the receiver of everyone else’s desire.
I’m so sore and drunk on dick, I feel like I was just in a gangbang.
a tentacle-rich form of Japanese anime intended to sexually arouse the viewer.
Imagine my grandmother’s surprise when she walked in and found me jacking it to hentai on the big screen in the living room.
I’d hit that.
A saying used to describe a person you think is attractive enough to bang.
Wow, she’s a bombshell. I’d totally hit that.
Whatever you do, just don’t jizz in my eye.
a fetish or sexual preference which needs to be disclosed to partners in order for sexual satisfaction to be achieved.
After a few dates with him I finally felt comfortable telling him my kink.
the engorgement of the clitoris when turned on.
Every single time I see Cillian Murphy, I can’t help but get a ladyboner.
when there is little to no refractory period in between orgasms during one single sex session.
I got my boyfriend a vibrating ring and it felt so amazing that I had multiple orgasms.
the act of being as stealthy as quiet about sex as possible to avoid getting caught.
My mom was sleeping in the next room so we had to do some serious ninja sex in order to stay under the radar.
a penis which has a larger circumference measurement than length measurement.
His oobladong was so wide I felt like he was splitting me in two.
male masturbation technique which involves masturbating with a condom on, either for practice or less mess.
I ain’t got time for cleanup today, so I’m just gonna posh wank it.
an odorless, yet noisy expulsion of trapped air which comes out of the vaginal canal.
While doing the downward dog in yoga today, I let out a massive queef and everyone heard it.
restless dick syndrome:
akin to restless leg syndrome, except with an erection, not a limb.
When I spoon my lover in our sleep, my restless dick syndrome kicks in and starts poking him in his back.
a person who only finds above-average sized penises and sex toys to be enough.
He is really nice, but he’s just not big enough to satisfy a size queen like me.
triple area vibrator:
a motorized sex toy designed to penetrate the vaginal canal while providing stimulation to the clitoris and perineum all at once.
I’m so freaking tired of juggling with all these sex toys that I just bought a triple area vibrator.
an informal word referring to a penis which has intact foreskin and is not circumcised.
Since I usually date Jewish guys, I was really surprised when he whipped it out and he was uncut.
the aftermath of too much heavy drinking when no matter how turned they are they can’t produce natural vaginal moisture.
I swear I’m turned on, I just can’t get wet because of vodka vagina.
a symptom of excessive drinking resulting in an inability to become erect or the inability to reach orgasm.
I’m so drunk and horny; damn this whiskey dick!
the irresistible sexual attraction to the exotic qualities of another person.
Between the spicy curry and his exotic accent I was definitely feeling the effects of xenophiliobia.
“You are not the father!” -Maury Povich
The test results are in and Mike, you are NOT the father of Tiffany’s baby.
having wild, rough, uninhibited sex and giving into animalistic abandon.
It’d been so long since we’d done it, I went at him zoo-style and wound up throwing out my back.