Reader Questions September 2015

Boy, our readers sure are a curious bunch! We value all of you and we are very happy to report you’ve asked a ton of important condom questions this month. Rock on! Got one we didn’t answer yet? Use our confidential Ask a Safer Sexpert submission form to find out more!

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Q: Where would I find a small non-lubricated condom? I have looked everywhere and can’t find any.

A: Unfortunately the major manufacturers don’t make one of these. There are several branches of products which they tend not to invest in because the target market is not profitable enough to warrant creating a new line. We have similar issues with clients who also want a non-latex, non-lubed condom. However, we are publishing a, “Best Non-Lubricated Condoms,” condom buying guide in the Condom Depot Learning Center later this week which may be helpful to you.


Q: I have problems buying lubes. For some reason, I get itchy the next day after using it during sex, which is odd because the rest of my skin handles it just fine. It’s happened multiple times, and at first I thought it was a yeast infection, but in the end, I found out the lube was what was causing the itching. Am I supposed to wash myself after sex to get the lube out? Do you have non-KY brand recommendations I could try out?

A: After intercourse I highly recommend both cleaning up (no soap inside) and urinating as soon as possible.  It may be the type of lubricant you’re using which is causing the irritation. Try WET Naturals Beautifully Bare for an all-natural, water-based lubricant or ID Millennium (a personal favorite) for a silicone-based lubricant.


Q: I had  hysterectomy about a year ago, After i was a healed up,Ii resumed normal sex with my husband.. He likes to use “adult ” toys on me on occasion but when ever he does I get a urinary tract infection…Never happened before I had my hysterectomy…was wondering if it is from the toys and we do clean them before and after every use…is there a condom i can use on the toys to prevent this infection?

A: Be sure to urinate directly before and after playtime to flush away any foreign bacteria from the opening of the urethra. Also, let your sex toys fully dry after cleaning and before storing them so they won’t harbor any live growth. And remember, no back and forth from anal to vaginal! You will likely find this article, “How-To: Use Condoms on Sex Toys,” to be helpful as well. Best of luck and feel better!


Q:  I‘ve never been able to effectively use condoms, I just can’t seem to find something that fits me properly. When starting out my newest relationship, I tried to use condoms. I tried multiple brands and sizes and nothing worked. I’ve ripped many in half (thank you plan B…), and many have fallen off entirely. I’ve always had this issue, which always leads to completely unprotected sex using pulling out as the only birth control method.

TL;DR- My penis is 6″ in length when fully erect (can range between 5.11-6.2″). Girth is trickier. At the head I’m about 5.3 ‘unflexed’ but if I’m excited it’s around 5.4-5.5″, my mid shaft is also 5.5″. Base girth is 6-6.1″.

The issue with most condoms is either too tight, or they come loose. Just after penetration on the larger sized condoms, after a few thrusts I will notice the condom rolling/pulling up my shaft. I will unroll or unroll it more to get back to the base. There will then be loose condom at the tip causing a pulling/suction effect that eventually pulls it off my penis.

I’ve tried many normal sized ones which feel too tight and make it difficult to climax. In the larger sizes I’ve tried many Magnums, SKYN larges, and I believe two others I don’t recall.

Is there any better formfitting condoms that’ll work with my measurements?

A: Well, I can understand your persistent prophylactic problems, as the maximum allowable condom circumference the FDA will approve is 4.5″ (at the base, unstretched). Clearly, this is not ideal for you.

Have you ever considered bypassing the whole male condom thing and trying the FC2 female condom? It is worn internally by your partner(s) in the vagina or anus and it protects against STIs and unwanted pregnancies. It’s a personal favorite of mine and the other staff members here because it allows the penis to be free, yet protected, which sounds like it’d be a real a nice change of pace for you.


Q: When I use a latex condom for vaginal intercourse (I am a male) it does not cover the base of my penis shaft (toward my balls). I would say it cover three fourths of my shaft. I sometime feel vaginal juices or contact. Am I still protected??

A: You are not fully protected against skin-to-skin diseases such as genital warts and herpes. I would recommend visiting learn.condomdepot.com and find a condom which is long enough for you on the Condom Size Chart. Please make sure to take your measurements before visiting the site.


Q: Can I use K-Y Gel for anal exercise? 

A: It’s better to use a silicone-based lube than a water-based one like K-Y Gel. Water is absorbed by the anus, leaving the area dry. Silicone is condom-safe and will not dry up. I use Pjur Analyse Me or Pjur BackDoor Relaxing Anal Glide. They provide long-lasting lubrication without the need to reapply.


Q: I have recently met a young man who has an unusually small penis. I haven’t measured it, but my guess is that it is between 3.5″ to 4″ max long and width/diameter is somewhere between 3/4″ to 1″ max. Your size chart is of no value for this, as it starts at 6.87″ in length. That’s even to large for me at 6.” What can you suggest for my friends very small penis?

A: The FDA requires condoms to be no shorter than a certain length due to the requirements of the equipment used to test their efficacy. The best option for your friend would be for his partner to use an FC2 Female condom. It is worn inside the vaginal canal. The FC2 can also be inserted into the anus after removing the cervical O-ring, however, please keep in mind that the FDA has not approved them for this purpose.


Q: I have a small penis, its quite embarrassing when its “asleep” you can hardly see it, just over an inch. When he is “happy” he is between 4.75 inches and 5.25 on a very horny day. It really is depressing me. I avoid sex because I’m so ashamed what if anything can I do? I hate PE and sports because of the shower rooms. Again its making my life miserable.

A:  Hello there! I am very sorry you are experiencing a lack of self-confidence below the belt.

A lot of men are, “growers not showers,” meaning that they have a greater transformation in size during an erection than more endowed men who do not grow much at all during an erection. The latest data puts the average penis size in America at 5.15″ long in an aroused state.

This means half of the men in the US are smaller than you and half are larger. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to your size. Furthermore, the average vaginal canal in the US is 4.5″ in length, with the G-Spot (the most sensitive area) being from 2″ to 2.5″ inside the canal. You have more than enough.

As far as condoms go, they are made much longer than the average penis size in order to be tested for safety by the FDA. Check out, “Condom Size vs. Penis Size,” for more info.

About Condom Depot

The Condom Depot Learning Center provides free safer sex ed and has recently been resourced by Men's Health, Go Ask Alice, Her Campus, LifeHacker, Scarleteen, Bustle, Madame Noire, Jezebel, Vice, Stallion Style, aPlus, Sex Talk Tuesday and Adult Sex Ed Month.

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