Like our staff’s sweet smiles and random raging hard-ons during puberty, your slew of safer sex ed inquiries just never stop popping up. We couldn’t cram them all into our Reader Questions January 2016 article, so before we bid this month adieu, here’s part deux!
Where do these queries come from? As a courtesy service to our loyal CondomDepot.com customers and Condom Depot Learning Center readers and followers we provide the fast, free and confidential info you need about condoms through our Ask A Safer Sexpert contact form.
Q: I just started seeing this guy and he’s the first guy I would be having sex with. We were about to do it the other day but he couldn’t get a boner, and when I saw him naked, I wasn’t really attracted to him sexually. Any advice? Am I abnormal?
A: Whoa. So many facets to cover.
OK, well first of all I’m sorry you didn’t get to have a great experience. First times are often fraught with mixed emotions for one reason or another so know you are not alone in the search for a better and more fulfilling sex life. For some people this may even turn into a lifelong quest.
To what and to whom individuals are or are not attracted to sexually is extremely varied and unique to everyone as in, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But, it’s natural to feel if you want a romantic and sexual relationship from the same person, you must have romantic and sexual feelings for them (or learn about asexuality).
Erectile difficulties are also common when everything is new and different, as we wrote in, “Erectile Dysfunction: Is the Body or the Brain to Blame” especially when using a condom for the first time like we covered in, “Staying Hard While Wearing a Condom.”
Our advice? Stay optimistic in your journey towards satisfaction, stay true to what you want and truthful to one another and always stay safer!
Q: Hi – I just measured my erect penis using your condom size chart. My measurements: 4.75” circumference x 6” long (I triple checked). I am very confused because all the condom lengths you show are from 6.87″ – 9.25″ and yet you list the national average penis sizes at 4.3″ (Japan) – 6.2″ (Cuba)? And the circumferences are all smaller than mine when I know FOR SURE that my penis is more slender than most? Please let me know what condoms I should be wearing and why (so that I know how to correctly choose condom size). Thanks!
A: Please refer to, “Condom Size vs. Penis Size,” in the Condom Depot Learning Center for a full explanation of reasoning behind the FDA’s decision to only allow a small range of condom sizes to be approved for sale in the USA.
The longer length is primarily due to their condom testing equipment, the weight of ejaculate after orgasm and the prevalence of skin-to-skin transmissible viruses like herpes and genital warts, etc.
Circumference-wise, you are in the Magnum range with your best bets being the Magnum BareSkin, Magnum Ribbed or Magnum Thin, all of which measure in at 4.5″ around unstretched. Simply leave the extra material rolled up at the base as explored in, “Q: Condom is too long, but it’s the right girth? Is that OK?”
Q: Hi! Looking here: http://www.condomdepot.com/product/detail.cfm/nid/183/pid/2105.
Wondering why a retail box of 36 is $17.99 but a bulk pack of 54 is $14.99? Why would anyone buy a retail pack or is that just for stores?
A: Good question! As we covered in, “Bulk Pack vs. Retail Box,” the only difference in the items you receive will be one is in a box like you’d buy from your local convenience store or pharmacy, the other is in a clear, sealed bag. Some people prefer a prepackaged box to a bag.
The condoms themselves are exactly the same. We repackage cases of condoms direct from the manufacturers in order to pass the savings along to you, hence the lower price for bulk packs vs. retail boxes.
Q: A condom question! What lubes are best for polyisoprene condoms? I’m researching and I can’t really find anything so better safe than sorry!
A: Good call on checking on lube compatibility before banging! Just like traditional latex condoms, non-latex polyisoprene condoms like LifeStyles SKYN condoms pair perfectly with personal lubricants which are water-based or silicone-based. Oil-based lubes will degrade the material and can only be used in conjunction with nitrile (FC2) or lambskin condoms. So, no oil!
Q: RE: squirting. Based on my own experience, I’m not sure this information is totally accurate. If I were to describe my orgasm, it would be warm watery fluid coming from the vagina — something you dismiss as fake. Perhaps there is a difference between ‘squirting‘ and ‘gushing’?
Yes, mucus membranes emit moisture (sometimes a lot) when aroused. Gentle and prolonged gushing of natural fluids from the vaginal canal during peak moments is a real occurrence indeed.
However, it’s not necessarily akin to the violent expulsion of squirting which employs the pelvic floor muscles to forcefully expel a sudden, stream-like jet of fluids. Kegels can help strengthen these muscles to turn a gush into a squirt! To learn more general info about vaginal moisture check out:
- “Is This Male or Female Ejaculate?“
- “Conquer Vaginal Dryness this Valentine’s Day“
- “Breastfeeding: Contraception and Dryness“
- “Lube Review: K-Y Liquibeads Vaginal Moisturizer“
Q: Can Vaseline be used in place of a condom during sexual intercourse?
A: Noooo! Vaseline is not a part of a safer sex routine with a partner, either with or without a condom. Not only is it made from petroleum (a byproduct of gasoline distillation) and not made to go inside the human body, when used in conjunction with a condom it will cause most condom materials to degrade to the point of breakage. Petroleum jelly offers no STI or contraception protection on its own, but is OK for use during solo masturbation on external parts of the body like the penis and testicles. Still, sex lube is preferred as it won’t leave condom-damaging residue behind afterwards.
Q: I am 80 kg, 175 cm guy. My penis size is only 3.5 cm on erection. I like fatty girl to marry. Can I satisfy her?
A: Much like snowflakes, no two penile shafts or vaginal openings are exactly the same in proportion and shape, meaning some penises/vaginas are smaller than others. There is no real way to guess the size your future partner’s genitalia or speculate as to what will satisfy her sexually. For information relating to your specific size, your level of self-confidence and your use of insensitive language and please refer to these helpful, fun and informative articles:
- How Obesity Impacts Sex
- What Constitutes a Micropenis?
- Kama Sutra and Size Compatibility
- Want a Negative Response? Try Negging.